she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
