I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
