And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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