All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
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Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
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But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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