Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
