yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize