you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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