So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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