It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
