You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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