Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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