He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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