Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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