you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize