Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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