We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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