your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
