So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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