I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize