He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
