Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
