I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I am naked and annoyed.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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