I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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