I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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