At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
