His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize