i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him