I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
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With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
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For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo