I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.