Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My bed smells like the plague
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
