the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
