It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
