I've blown a few things in my day
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.