Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
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all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
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he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.