I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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