i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.