Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.