If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Who died my cat blue again?