Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize