I have demons in me.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
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