if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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