I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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