Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my weed a kiss
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize