At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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