you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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