just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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