you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
