Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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