Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize