hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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