im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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