Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
