I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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