i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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