have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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