i barfeds in our rink
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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